pink_starrshine

you make me lol.

<a href=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v48/merdenoms/ljstuff/ljscreen.jpg>click this to see why.</a>

i hate living in the ghetto. if it's not ghetto birds (police search helicopters) which happen at least weekly, it's the white trash neighbors. if it's not the neighbors, it's the vomit on the sidewalks. if it's not vomit river, it's cars getting broken into. if it's not theft, it's the rude and unhelpful management. if it's not the poor management, it's shady hoodlums gathered in the parking lots and running when they see you walk out. if it's not gangs, it's fucking PEOPLE in the fucking DUMPSTERS (i cannot be sorry for hitting you in the head with a bag of trash if you live in my dumpster. get out. it's not a house.). if it's not crazy homeless trash people, it's someone trying to break in while i'm home alone. if it's not b&e and rape, it's people walking around with knives and pointing them menacingly at me. but today, it's not the threat of murder. today it is the cockroaches and bed bugs.

lee and i are covered in bed bug bites. i think he has 14, i have 10. i have washed every single thing we own, clothes, towels, bed linens, and put a zip up cover on the mattress. i think it angered the bugs, because they've never been worse.

last night i walked into the kitchen to get a pop and a HUGE cockroach ran right in front of me and crawled into a cabinet. last week, i saw one crawl into my silverware drawer, and another one meandering along the counter. just now, i filled up the cat's automatic water thing, and when i put it back, 2 medium cockroaches and 3 baby ones came flying out from under the thing. oh yeah, and let's not forget the massive one that was crawling up the living room wall a couple of weeks ago. and i keep my kitchen clean, no dirty dishes, counters always lysol'd, food goes away.

i'm so stressed out about living here. i can't eat any food that i make here. i can't afford to constantly eat out. i'm sick of being itchy. i'm sick of feeling like things are crawling on me. i'm terrified of bugs, i get panic attacks when i see the cockroaches. i hate living in this filthy little shithole with these white trash neighbors! and i can't do anything about it. i hate this place so much. my anxiety about this spills over into my school stuff, and i get overly stressed out about schoolwork, and then i end up doing very poorly at it, and my grades are suffering. i don't know what to do. i can't handle this anymore.

it's like 9pm so it's definitely not bedtime. but i'm falling asleep. ugh. i wanted to do something tonight, i wanted to go out and have fun. when did i turn into such an old lady?

i'm drinking flat root beer. i hate it. but i need to go grocery shopping and it's dark so i won't go outside.

today i got a letter in the mail telling me i'd been selected as a secret shopper and a check for $4,335. i was like HOLY CRAP THIS IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!! all my problems are solved! ew but no. i called my mom and she told me not to do it, so i went home and checked it out online before i cashed the check. WOW i'm so glad i did that. um turns out it's a scam. of course. apparently, you cash the check, take out a large portion of it, go to western union, and make a money transfer. then you record your experience with western union. after that, you take $95 and go to one of the listed stores and make a purchase and then review the customer service and such. but then! you get arrested for cashing a fraudulent check and you owe your bank five grand and you have no idea where your money is. so i looked very closely at my check, and in tiny little dots that blend in very well, it says void. well fuck. so i called the help number and asked for a website or something so i could check ou the company and the woman had a very heavy accent and spoke very softly so i had to ask her to repeat the url. she repeated it twice and hung up. the website was not a real website so i called back and she gave me a different website, which was the same thing, but it still wasn't a real website. so i called back and asked what was up and the lady yelled at me and told me to cash the check and follow the instructions. after that, she just kept hanging up on me. when i finally asked why my check said void on it, she said it must be a mistake and i told her it was no mistake, it was a scam and she was a piece of shit. and then she hung up on me again. oh well.